So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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