Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
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I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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