Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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