um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
