But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize