they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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