oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
