One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
These tits shall not be calmed
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
