Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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