my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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