I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
