someone threw a dead crab at me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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