All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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