did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
