I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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