To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
