drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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