We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
