Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
