Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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