how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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