trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
