So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
