Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
