btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
