Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
