Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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