I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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