ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
