He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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