some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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