He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
