How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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