Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
