my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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