...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
