The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
