Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Michael Bay diarrhea
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
