I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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