Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's official drugs can't kill me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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