She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Even my vagina gasped.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
