I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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