I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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