Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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