i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have fence marks all over my body
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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