come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
