remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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