Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize