Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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