ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
