Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
