Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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