tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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