I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I could make wine with my vomit
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
