I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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