She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
