I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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