Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
