I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize