Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
